No, you can’t have Greenland.
And yes – our eggs come with shit, blood, and feathers.
As Easter approaches, US officials discreetly ask European countries to export eggs to cover a domestic supply crisis caused by avian flu, industrial fragility, and rising demand.
At the same time, their government once again toys with the idea of acquiring Greenland.
One story is about food.
The other, about imperial appetite.
But both reveal something deeper: a worldview that prefers its politics like its breakfast – sterilised, decontextualised, and ready for consumption.
Grabbing land, demanding eggs.
A sitting US president calling Greenland "an island we will need" isn’t just diplomatically grotesque.
It shows a disturbing disregard for democratic sovereignty.
The EU respected Greenland’s 1984 decision to leave the European Community clearly and respectfully.
Now, the same territory appears in American strategy papers as a mere treasure chest, reduced to raw materials, strategic advantage, and "access."
No people. No culture. No consent.
At the same time, Washington politely requests Germany, Poland, Sweden, and Italy: could they send more eggs, please?
American supermarkets are bare.
Suddenly, the question emerges:
How much solidarity do you owe a partner who sees your neighbours as property?
Eggs aren’t neutral.
An egg is not just food.
It stands for life, tradition, and ritual – but also market, consumption, and supply chains.
In Europe, an egg might carry the smell of the coop.
It could have a feather stuck to it, a trace of the animal it came from.
No one pretends it's sterile.
In the US, eggs must be washed, disinfected, polished.
No trace of origin.
No dirt. No blood. No feathers.
Just pure, marketable eggness.
And this is exactly how the US seems to view the idea of Greenland – not as a homeland, but as a clean, silent asset.
But Greenland isn’t a commodity.
It is a land, a culture, and a people.
Europe delivers reality, not purity.
What Europe knows – and sometimes forgets – is this:
Nothing is ever just a product.
Not an egg. Not a territory. Not a treaty.
Everything comes with weight, story, and complexity.
Solidarity is not infinite.
And it shouldn’t be automatic for partners who romanticise ownership while outsourcing vulnerability.
So yes, we might send eggs.
But if we do, they won’t be perfect.
They’ll be real.
And no, you can’t have Greenland. 🥚🦅
This text could have been published in their newspaper — but they didn’t want it. 🕳️
It would have fit perfectly in:
The Guardian
The New York Times
The Baffler
The Funambulist
The Atlantic
Harper’s Magazine
The New Republic
n+1
Dissent
The Drift 🦅